


For Ben Solo

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Poe Dameron, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Force Bond (Star Wars), Kylo Ren & Rey Weird Kinship, M/M, Past Torture, Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey bonding, Poe Dameron/Kylo Ren Angst, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Responsefic, Sad Poe Dameron, Sad Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 02:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19454236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: After Crait, Rey and Poe alike struggle to come to grips.





	For Ben Solo

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Fix-It Fic
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Call this a response to a fic that portrayed Poe badly that got away from me.

It was in the main hold of the Falcon, when everyone else was asleep, that Rey spoke to Finn. Poe had come along too, considering that he apparently had some sort of history with Kylo Ren. Kylo had never mentioned him, but then again, he hadn’t mentioned much about his past. Rey knew she had caught glimpses of him when she had pushed Kylo Ren out of her mind.  
  
So there they were, porgs perched on chairs here and there. Poe sighed. “Let me get this straight — you established a Force Bond with him?”  
  
Rey shook her head. “Snoke established it. He bragged about it when I was in his throne room.”  
  
“Sorry,” Poe said. “I didn’t know.” A beat. “So basically...he violated both your minds.”  
  
Rey nodded. “You could say that.”  
  
Poe looked pained, conflicted even. Rey couldn’t say why. Then Poe said, “I wanted Kylo Ren in a prison cell. I can...remember how much I hated him. Now, I don’t know what to feel about him.”  
  
“You’re far from alone,” Rey said. Not so long ago, she had pitied him. Further than that, she had hated him. Now, she couldn’t say what she felt.  
  
Poe smiled faintly. “You know it’s really comforting to hear you say that.” A beat. “Did you...find out what happened to him when you came in contact with him?”  
  
Rey bit her lip. Then, “I’m sorry, Poe. It’s going to hurt you.”  
  
“It can’t hurt me any more than I’ve already been hurt.”  
  
Rey sighed. Then, “It was Luke. He was...afraid. He didn’t go through with killing him, but — ”  
  
“WHAT?!”  
  
Poe’s shout was so visceral, so shocked, that a few porgs scattered in fear. Finn looked just as surprised, like he hadn’t expected Poe to start shouting.  
  
Rey insisted, “He still saved our lives!”  
  
“And yet he’s good as the author of this war,” Poe said. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Rey. I didn’t expect to be so angry.”  
  
“It’s okay.” Rey took a deep breath. “Did General Organa — ”  
  
“No. Then again, she told me next to nothing when Ben...fell. I...is it kriffed up if I hate Kylo Ren and care for Ben Solo?”  
  
“You’re not alone,” Rey said. Kylo had said that, perhaps in one of his few moments of genuine kindness towards her. The best she could do was offer it to Poe Dameron.  
  
Finn spoke. “I’m sorry for you, Poe.”  
  
Poe took a deep breath. “Thank you.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Poe...I might as well tell you the truth,” Rey said. “He didn’t kill me to save me from Snoke’s torture. That’s just something that got...lost in translation. But he didn’t kill me when Snoke ordered him to. I think there might have been a glimpse of good in him. Before it got snuffed out.”  
  
Poe’s hand clenched and unclenched in that moment.  
  
Finn spoke. “It didn’t save me on the Starkiller planet, but on Jakku...he just let me go. I don’t know why. I don’t think I ever will.”  
  
“And on the bridge at Starkiller Base,” Rey said, “I saw him...cry. Before he killed his father.” Maybe that had planted the seeds of some pity, though it was quickly overwhelmed by fury and hate.  
  
Poe really did look lost. Considering. Then, “I don’t know if there’s a way to save him. But...there is a part of him that still believes in goodness in the galaxy. And beauty. I can’t just kill it...even if I am leader of the Resistance.”  
  
Rey nodded. After Crait, she had been all too willing to close the door on him. Now...did those clues mean everything? Or nothing?  
  
***  
  
Kylo appeared to her as she worked in the garage on her new lightsaber. “You’ve come quite a long way since I first fought you on the Starkiller planet,” he said.  
  
Rey snorted. “I beat you, remember?”  
  
Silence. Then, “I never hated you for that.”  
  
Rey looked up, really looked at the scar that was starting to fade on his face. It was a reminder, wasn’t it, about how close she’d come to the Dark — before pulling herself away in time. She didn’t need the lure of the Mirror Cave to tell her she had come close; Starkiller was a near-miss on its own.  
  
“I don’t regret why I did it,” she said, “But it was a close call.” A beat. “Why are you here? The Bond should have ended with Snoke.”  
  
A sigh from Kylo. “If I knew, I’d tell you.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“Why did you hurt Poe Dameron?”  
  
Kylo actually did look surprised, like it was the first time anyone had talked to him about Poe. Or maybe he didn’t expect Rey to know, to ask. “I regret it,” he said.  
  
Perhaps the first time Kylo admitted he regretted anything. Then, “Then why?”  
  
“The map to Skywalker. I wanted...revenge on him.”  
  
“And you didn’t even get it,” she said. “He beat you.”  
  
“I know.” Kylo sounded tired in that moment, a lonely husk of a man. Rey almost pitied him. “Did he tell you about me? Every darkest secret I had, every little memory?”  
  
“Not yet.” It occurred to Rey that she didn’t know anything about Ben Solo beyond his fall. Even trying to imagine Kylo as a youth was difficult. Had she chased an idea and not a man?  
  
“He will,” Kylo said. “I know he will.”  
  
He vanished, and Rey was left alone in the garage, her thoughts a mess.  
  
***  
  
“I saw him, Poe.” Rey said, later. “He...said he regretted what he did to you. I don’t think it’s enough.”  
  
“It isn’t.” Poe took a deep breath even as they sat away from the others. “I can’t say any of my emotions makes any sense.”  
  
The chatter of the others was the only sound.  
  
Then Finn spoke. “It doesn’t have to.”  
  
Rey nodded. “It doesn’t.” A beat. “Whatever happens, Poe, we’re going to keep fighting the First Order. And that includes for Ben Solo.”  
  
Poe nodded. “Yeah,” he said, “It does.”


End file.
